Loyalty In Marriage

A few months back for a combined 5th Sunday RS and Priesthood meeting we had a guest speaker by the name of Rick Miller. Brother Miller is a family therapist and I believe he also teaches at BYU. He gave a wonderful presentation. The thing I got most from it is that if we are struggeling and having differences with our spouse, we need to swallow our pride and take the tme to communicate with them. They are the first person we should talk to when there is difficulty in the marriage. NOT the bishop, mom or dad, the best friend or even co-workers. Brother Miller thinks there is very little that can't be worked out in marriage (with the execption of abuse in any form). Here are some excerpts from his hand out:

"Determine that there will never be anything that will come between you that will disrupt your marriage. Make it work. Resolve to make it work. There is far too much of divorce, wherein hearts are broken and sometimes lives are destroyed. Be fiercely loyal one to another." (Gordon B. Hinckley, Ensign, Feb. 1999, page 2, 4)

Concerning D&C 42:22, President Spencer W. Kimball said, "The words none else eliminate everyone and everything. The spouse then becomes preeminent in the life of the husband or wife, and neither social life nor occupational life nor political life nor any other thing shall ever take precedence over the companion spouse." (Faith Precedes the Miracle, page 143)

Being human, you may someday have differences of opinion resulting even in little quarrels. Neither of you will be so unfaithful to the other as to go back to your parents or friends and discuss with them your little differences. That would be gross disloyalty. Your intimate life is your own and must not be shared with or confided in others. You will not go back to your people for sympathy, but will thresh out your own difficulties. (President Spencer W. Kimball, Marriage, page 25)

"Frequently, people continue to cleave unto their mothers and their fathers and their chums. Sometimes, mothers will not relinquish the hold they have upon their children, and husbands as well as wives return to their mothers and fathers to obtain advice and counsel and to confide, whereas cleaving should be to the wife in most things, and all intimacies should be kept in great secrecy and privacy from others...Your married life should become independent of her folks and his folks. You love them more than ever, you cherish their counsel, you appreciate their association, but you live your own lives, being governed by your decisions, by your own prayerful considerations after you have received the counsel from those who should give it." (President Spencer W. Kimball, 1977 March Ensign, page 4, 5)

"Be faithful in your marriage covenants in thought, word and deed. Pornography, flirtations, and unwholesome fantasies erode one's character and strike at the foundation of a happy marriage. Unity and trust within marriage are thereby destroyed." (Howard W. Hunter, Ensign, Nov. 1994, page 50)

"If you are married, avoid flirtations of any kind...what may appear to be harmless teasing or simply having a little fun with someone of the opposite sex can easily lead to more serious involvement and eventual infidelity. A good questions to ask ourselves is this: Would my spouse be pleased if he or she know I was doing this? Would a wife be pleased to know that her husband lunches alone with his secretary? Would a husband be pleased if he saw his wife flirting and being coy with another man? My beloved brothers and sisters, this is what Paul meant when he said: Abstain from all appearance of evil."(President Ezra Taft Benson, BYU 1987 Devotional and Fireside speeches, page 52)